Who is in charge around here?

Is it Lori? Wrong. Itchy? Double wrong. Sorry but no, the correct answer is Patches. Yes, Patches. Thanks for playing (sound of audience clapping).

Seriously, a cat is in control of our house. She sleeps on my neck at night, making me hot, uncomfortable, and unable to move (she's a big girl). She dictates what time I get up in the morning. When she wants me to get up and feed her, she licks my eyelids, nibbles on my ears, plays with my earrings/nose ring. It's impossible to sleep through.

If she wants to play, she brings you a toy. You had better throw it for her (loves to play fetch). She screams from the other room if she wants attention. She doesn't stop until she is acknowledged. If she wants to be fed, she'll follow me around yelling until I feed her.

She ruins anything fun that Cuddles might be doing. She bosses him around and steals his food. She will only play with him on her terms (can't really blame her for that, his idea of playing is biting her on the back of the leg). If he has a good napping spot, she takes it.

Now, some of this is annoying. She gets away with it because 1.) she's cute and 2.) she knows that she's cute.

Don't worry, the cats won't gang up and take over. Cuddles wants nothing to do with this kind of power. He's not that kind of guy. He's much easier to live with. He just wants a little food, a lap to sit on, and his kitty bed. Cuddles respects me, not so much Itchy, but definitely me. He listens to me. He is grateful for what he has. He lived in a shelter, he saw how bad it could be.

Perhaps the best example of the control that Patches has is what happened today. It is not the first time it has happened. She stole Itchy's chair. Twice. He got up from the dinner table to get more food and she jumped up and sat there looking annoyed that I didn't set a plate for her. When told to move she just stared blankly at Itchy. She moved eventually. Then, after Itchy got done with the dishes (yes, he does the dishes sometimes), he went to sit in the computer chair but Patches beat him to it. She got to the chair about 30 seconds before he did. She decided to nap there. Feeling bad for Itchy, I gave him the TV chair (it's the lesser chair).

At least she didn't kick him out of a chair this time. Yes, she has kicked him out of a chair before. She sat there staring at him, whining, until he moved. She really *wanted* to sit in that chair.

So either she thinks she's people or she thinks that she can control everyone in the house.