Have you ever been to Tokyo?

I was recently asked this question. Out of context is doesn't seem like an odd question. Given the circumstances in which it was asked though, it was definitely weird.

It started with a misunderstanding between Itchy and I. We were going out to a bar to watch the Superbowl. I asked Itchy how much money he had, he said $100. Itchy thought that I asked how much money we should bring. We got to the bar, ordered a bucket of Carib, and then realized what had happened. I offered to come back to the house to get money so that Itchy wouldn't miss the kickoff, since Itchy loves football way more than I ever could.

Now, I must tell you that our car is the biggest pile of crap (I'll save that story for a different post). I can't start the stupid thing. It hates me almost as much as I hate it. Itchy rarely has problems. However, my plan was to leave the car running while I ran into the house, thus only having to get it started once. The other thing you should know is that I live next door to a Chinese embassy.

So I pull into the driveway and see some Asian man standing there. Crap, I wanted to leave the car running. Now there is some old wierdo standing there, in my driveway, looking for something. Ugh, do I leave the car running now or not? The car has been stolen twice already (another post altogether) so I figure eh, what's the worst that can happen? You want the piece of crap, you can have it, just don't turn left or the engine will die. I grab the keys, leave the car running (nope, doesn't needs keys), and go towards the house trying to avoid the old Asian man.

He, of course, comes running up to me. Great. I ask him if he needs something. He says, rather loudly, "Have you ever been to Tokyo?". Umm, no. Are you looking for the embassy? He says "no, no, but you have ever been to Tokyo?" He's tells me that he's been to Tokyo and that I should go too. k?thxbai! He offers me a brochure. His brochures look hand made. Who gave this guy a pen? Were they worried he'd shove it in his eye? I decline the brochure (Itchy was mad about that, he really wanted one). I tell Tokyo that he should get going, no one here wants to know more about Tokyo. He says that he was just wondering why no one was answering the door. I tell him that it's probably because no one is home. He shrugs and walks to his Nissan SUV.

I run into the house, grab the money, and am on my way back to the bar. I pull out into the street and Tokyo pulls out ahead of me. Want to guess what his bumper sticker says? "VISIT TOKYO".