Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The now

After 5 years of dating, it'll be 6 in May, we still haven't told Itchy's parents. Yep, we're deceptive. Whatever. If his parents are going to disown him because I'm not Indian/Muslim/rich/whatever than they kind of had it coming. If you won't let your grown son choose what makes him happy, than you probably aren't going to really know your son and he's probably not going to be honest with you.

However, we are preparing to tell them. It'll have to happen some day. Itchy's got these hesitations about getting married and having kids without telling his parents. We've got various ideas on how this could go. All of them will occur after Itchy graduates.

Option 1: Tell them the whole truth. At which point, Itchy will be disowned.

Option 2: After the actual graduation, get Itchy's parents to take him out to eat to celebrate. I'll be in the Arby's or Applebee's (they love those 2 restaurants so it'll be easy to get them there). Itchy will pretend to choke. I will jump up and save his life. We pretend that this is out first meeting. Fate brought us together. We fall madly in love. There is also a variation that involves Itchy being nearly hit by a car and me pushing him out of the way, thus saving his life. Same theme, different details.

Option 3: Have Itchy's brothers, their wives, and their kids go over to his parent's house for a family dinner. Itchy and I will walk in like it's no big deal. His brothers and their wives will all say "hi Itchy and Lori" because they will be in on this. His parents will freak out asking who the heck I am. Itchy will become irate at them for forgetting the girl he is going to marry. How could they not remember me, they have met me several times. Then he will ask them why THEY invited us over if THEY didn't even know who I was. Itchy's brothers will chime in and agree that it is appalling that they would treat me this way. We will then storm out. His parents will feel so badly about it that they will just pretend that they knew about me all along.

Which option would you choose? None of them are ideal but we have to choose something.

Knowing that our time on The Island is coming to an end means that the time to tell Itchy's parents is coming quickly. We're trying to sort out the details of our upcoming move. We both want to go visit friends and family before we go to the new school in a new town. So if Itchy is in Town A with his parents, and I am in Town C with my family, how are we both going to get to Town D? We will need to drive there (road trip!!) but what if Itchy's parents want to go with him to help him get settled? What if they decide not to give him his car? I don't have a car so Itchy will have to pick me up (or he has to drive alone and I will fly but than what about my stuff?) and than drive to the new school. What about all of our stuff? We need to get it out of his parent's house before they find out about me, because otherwise we'll never see it again.

Yeah, it's stressful. Yeah, I'll be blogging about it. I try not to think about it too much. It's too hard to think about it with all the variables. Once we know what some of the details are, we can actually make plans. Besides everything always works out for Itchy. Right?

Monday, December 29, 2008

The middle

We won't be starting where we left off, because frankly, I don't know where exactly this falls in the time line. Just know that at some point, the subject of Itchy's parents were brought up. He had not, and had no plans to tell them that he was dating me. Itchy had just seen his oldest brother expelled from the family for dating and marrying a white woman. Itchy is Indian (dot, not feather). So are his parents (duh, well one is Indian and one is Pakistani but for simplicity's sake they are both Indian). Itchy's parents are also Muslim. They do not approve of their sons marrying white women. So when the eldest son did, they disowned him. Itchy did not want to deal with this, especially that early in our relationship. Since, really, who knew it would get this far?

I was told that we had to keep it a secret from them. I had no problem with that. Meeting someone else's parents is nerve wracking anyway. Why would I want to do that? It was pretty easy to do. His mom and dad lived an hour away due to his mom's work. They rented a house in Town B and owned a house in Town A, which is where I lived. But Town A is a big city, with suburbs, so we weren't even in the same suburb. Itchy's parents were only in Town A a few days a week. Itchy would live in my apartment when his parents were in Town B and then go to their house in Town A when they would be there.

Since Itchy's parents were under the impression that Itchy lived in their house, and only in their house, they kept it well stocked with food and other necessities. We did a lot of our grocery shopping there.

We kept this up for 3 years. With Itchy going back and forth between my apartment and his parent's house. There were a few close calls along the way. For example, we were staying at his parent's house because work was being done on my apartment, and his parents were on vacation in Asia. I had a lot of stuff at his house, as you can imagine. I got a call one night when I was at work telling me that I had to go get all of my stuff, including the cats, out of his house because his parents were coming back early! That was stressful. There were also a few scary moments when we would be hanging out in the house and would think that we heard the garage door open. We always had an escape plan. It was definitely interesting. It wasn't always easy. There were plenty of times when I was angry that he had to go back to his parent's house. We couldn't make plans on the weekends that his parents would be in Town A. It got old. It got stressful. It's a huge secret to keep.

Well, 2006 comes along. We had been dating for 3 years. Itchy is accepted into vet school. But the school is on The Island. He asks me to move there with him. I tell him YES! Hell, the chance to live in the Caribbean doesn't fall into your lap everyday. Of course, I'll go. But I think we should tell his parents first. The guilt was getting to me. It was getting to Itchy too. He wanted to tell them. It didn't seem right for his parents to be paying for school and all of our living expenses without them knowing.

Itchy was working out a plan to tell them. He talked to his brothers (by that point the eldest was back in contact with the family). They told him he was fool to tell them. His parents probably wouldn't pay for school if he told them. His brothers told him to keep his mouth shut. So he did.

We moved to The Island and didn't tell them.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The beginning

This may be a little late, but I thought I'd explain the situation with Itchy's parents. In order to do this, I have to start at the beginning.

It all started in March 2001. I had just accepted an internship at a wildlife rehab facility. Itchy had just started to volunteer at the same facility. I was working in the mammal nursery and he was working with adult animals. We both worked on Saturday nights, along with a few other amazing people. The Saturday night crew was a really fun group. We often hung out long after the animals had been cared for. It seemed as though there was a lot of chemistry between Itchy and I. The summer went by quickly. The wildlife rehab facility really slows down in the fall. The internships are over and most volunteers say goodbye until the next summer. I loved that place and I knew I wanted to stay over the winter. I signed up for the Saturday night crew.

The following spring Itchy signed up for an internship in the mammal nursery. I had been offered an Intake specialist job (fancy for answering phones and admitting patients) and an honorary mammal nursery assistant job at the wildlife facility. The director of the mammal nursery (we'll call her A) thought Itchy and I would make a cute couple. She did her best to set us up. My schedule that summer was nothing short of chaos. I had an internship at a zoo, a job in the dirt lab, the intake job at the wildlife facility, and the assistant job in the nursery. I was at the zoo M-F during the day, the dirt lab most weekday evenings, the intake job and mammal nursery assistant on Wednesday nights and on weekends. Itchy's internship schedule was set up by A. She scheduled him for Wednesday nights, Saturday mornings, and Thursday mornings. He also continued to volunteer on the Saturday night crew. A had scheduled us together as much as possible.

Itchy and I worked together a lot that summer. It was a blast. I was busy and tired, but I always looked forward to going to the wildlife facility. Once again, the fall came and we said goodbye to most of the volunteers. But the Saturday night crew remained the same. Times were changing for the wildlife facility though. They were moving to a new building in the spring. Things were going to be different.

Spring semester started at the U. Itchy and I ended up, completely by coincidence, in the same ornithology class and lab. We sat next to each other in lecture and always found a way to be in the same lab group, despite how the groups were suppose to be divided. It made that class a lot more fun. I found out that for the Summer of 2003, that I would be the Mammal Nursery Director. I knew I would need help. Just running the nursery was a huge job, but I would also have to get the nursery set up in the new building. Not to mention that I would be gone for almost an entire month that summer (I had to go to big kid camp in order to graduate). It was not ideal. I immediately thought of Itchy. Except he didn't know this. He was making plans to study abroad. By the time I told him what was going on (I was told to keep quiet about A not coming back), he had already planned his trip. He was going to be gone for 2 months at the beginning of the summer, but was willing to do what he could. Since my month at big kid camp was the last month of the summer, I thought it would work. The wildlife facility found one other person to help, that would be there all summer long, and we were all set.

The nursery got off to a quick start. I had found a few really great interns, volunteers were coming back, and finals were coming up. Itchy and I ended up studying for the ornithology final one night after working all day in the nursery together. It was that night (well, early in the morning the day of our final) that we finally had our first kiss. We had our first official date a few nights later. By the way, we both passed ornithology.

A short time later, Itchy was off to study abroad. We emailed each other a lot and there were a few phone calls. I was busy trying to keep the nursery running smoothly. Time flew by. Before I knew it, I was packing for big kid camp. I left for big kid camp the same day that Itchy got back from his trip. I left early in the morning and he arrived late that night. We did not get to see each other. More emails were exchanged. About 2 weeks into big kid camp, we were given the option to take the weekend off! I drove back, a 4 hour trip, that night. The first person I called was Itchy. We got to spend the weekend together after nearly 3 months apart. I realize that we were only dating for about 1 month before he left, but it really did feel like we had been together for a lot longer.

Anyway, the summer ended and we were finally able to spend time together away from the wildlife center. That's how this all got started.

What are the odds?

I need someone to do the math. Because the odds of what happened last night must be nearly zero.

Last night Itchy and I went out to dinner. This rarely happens. I cook almost every single night. Perhaps 3 times a semester we will eat out. That's 12 times a year. Anyway, last night I was not in the mood to cook. Itchy was given the choice between frozen pizza and going out. He chose to go out.

Anyway we get to the restaurant and once we are seated, we realize that we are surrounded my large reserved tables. We really do not like to be seated by large groups. They are loud and obnoxious. The people sitting on the opposite ends of the table are always the ones that need to talk to each other. But instead of sitting next to each other, they choose opposite ends. Then they scream at one another. Everyone gets the hear them. Hate it. But Itchy asked what time the groups were expected to arrive. They were not scheduled to arrive for an hour. We decided to stick it out. We were making bets that the large groups would be new students at Itchy's school. They have arrived on The Island and are being orientated.

The large group behind Itchy arrived first. They were clearly not an orientation group. It was a family. The second large group arrived. Again, not an orientation group. This group is a mix of families. A few adults and their children. The next large group arrived just before our food did. This was the largest group, also not an orientation group. This was by far the most obnoxious group. Within seconds of them walking into the restaurant, it was loud. They get themselves seated, 5 adults on one end of the table and then 8 kids (ages 12ish to 19ish) on the other end. Given the kids' ages this should not have been a problem. However, the youngest of the bunch really wanted to sit next to her mom. But mom wouldn't move. Just told the girl to have the boy sitting next to her to help her order. They proceeded to read the menu out loud, tried to decide what kind of rum drink would be good, questioned whether they would be able to order things that were not on the menu, etc. All very loudly.

At this point, I overheard the 12 year old tell the other kids a story (she had to watch her sister graduate so she missed the bus to camp and her parents had to drive her instead, everyone else got to take the bus). It sounded oddly familiar. I took one look at the girl and immediately recognized her (still hasn't learned to brush her hair). These people had ruined our dinner a year ago! The same family. The same annoying behavior. Different restaurant.

See last year, we had gone out to dinner. A large group of people were seated behind us. They were loud and obnoxious. Itchy and I couldn't hear each other at all. They were incredibly rude. It's not like we were at Chucky Cheese, where you expect it to be loud. This was a quiet restaurant. Everyone else there was giving them the stink eye as well, so it wasn't just annoying to Itchy and I. We couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Imagine our surprise, one year later, when we have another rare dinner out ruined by these people. What the hell were the odds of that?

Friday, December 26, 2008

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone had a great day. Itchy and I took a break from the dogs (it was necessary for their survival) and went to the beach! Little windy but it was still a fun day. It was probably the last Christmas that we'll be able to spend at a beach. That's about the only thing I'll miss when we move back to the States. The tropical beaches. The gorgeous blue waters.

The dogs are still alive. We have 8 more days with them before their owners come back. They are doing everything that they can to ensure that we will never forget them. Jackasses. Needy jackasses.

I've updated the ticker at the bottom of the page. Go take at a look at that!!! It's not a definite date of departure but it's as close of an estimate as we can get at this point. We started talking about our plans for the big move. It's certainly not going to be easy. Itchy's parents make this more difficult than it should be. I have plans to spell out that whole story for you guys this week.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Cats vs Dogs

One of the age old debates. Are you a cat person or a dog person? Itchy and I are cat people. We know this. We embrace it. Don't get me wrong, dogs are fine. We don't hate dogs. Certainly aren't out there looking for puppies to kick. But I really don't want a dog. And never a puppy. Puppies are stupid. Adorable? Yes. But very, very stupid.

We are dogs sitting for friends. We have one week down and 2 weeks to go. There are 3 dogs. They are all lab sized dogs. One of them is a puppy. He is very stupid. He is very mouthy. He thinks it's a game. It was cute when he was tiny, but now he is too big for it to be anything another than painful. He is constantly trying to get everyone to play with him. But the only game he wants to play is wrestling and biting. No one wants to play this game with him. He's a jackass.

His sibling (adopted sibling) is older and less annoying. But good lord you can't walk out of the room without her at your heels. She is only content when you are petting her. She likes to stand in your lap when you are sitting and breathe in your face. She is a dog. She has dog breath. Yeah. She has no concept of personal space. At all.

The other dog is slightly less annoying. She too follows us everywhere. She is also very vocal. She likes to 'talk' to us. It's fine. I know dogs, I know she is just talking to us. But I can see why this scares others. And at 6 am, when they are begging for food, it is NOT cute. She also likes to jump on us. She has long nails. They hurt.

I do not regret agreeing to dog sitting. Not at all. This has just confirmed what I already knew. We are cat people. Our cats are not perfect. I know they have flaws. I also know that while I can live with their flaws, other people would not tolerate it. That's fine.

I'm not ruling out a dog completely. I'm sure there is a great dog out there that would be the right dog for our family. But I'm in no hurry to find it.


Monday, December 15, 2008

He Did It!

Ok, for a while there it looked like Itchy and I were going to be on this island for an additional 4 months. Itchy was mentally preparing himself for it. Itchy was telling me to prepare myself. I was having none of that. How could possibly prepare for something like that? I continued to plan to leave in April. Itchy continued to warn me. I figured I'd deal with it IF and only IF I had to.

Itchy had his finals last week. The class he was worried about was on the last day of finals. However, his plan of not studying for the first final (because he was doing well in that class) seemed to have backfired. He was pretty sure that he had failed that final and would, as a result of that, fail the class. He took his last final on Wednesday. We had to wait until Saturday to get the results. Longest days of our lives. There's nothing you can do. You don't want to go out. You don't want to do anything. All you can do is wait.

So we waited. The school sent an email on Thursday that the grades would be up Friday evening or early Saturday morning because the school was going to shut down their servers on Saturday for repairs.

This meant that we checked the grade website every 15 minutes all day Friday. The grades were finally posted at 1 am.

Itchy passed! With less than stellar grades, but I am so proud of him! I knew the Jedi forces would kick in. I don't know if you know this, but everything always works out for Itchy. Always. He is a lucky bastard. I don't know why he doubted himself.

Anyway, he is now in his last semester down here. We will find out where we are going to for clinics in a few months. I'm sure my anxiety will kick in soon, so look for those fun filled posts!