Wild times

So much has happened since I last blogged. Crazy stuff too, not just your regular day to day activities. Be prepared, this is long. I will probably break it down into sections for you though.

Here's just a little background info that I hadn't felt comfortable sharing before now. Itchy's mom has cancer. Stage 4. It's not looking so good. She's undergoing chemo and radiation, but who knows how much longer she has. It's really depressing. They really aren't giving Itchy many straight answers either. He found out about this in mid-March.

With that said, let's take a little trip back to The Island. Starting up around the time Itchy found out about his mom. It was mid-semester break. We had about a month and a half left on the island. We just found out that his mom had cancer. Itchy was busy with school. 7th semester is hard and you are busy. Very busy. I myself was keeping busy with packing and finding a new place to live. I was also feeling like crap. The heartburn. I think I complained of that more than once. It's kind of a family tradition. We tend to worry ourselves sick of stuff. I wasn't feeling particularly nervous/worried, but I figured the heartburn was a sign of that.

Let's fast forward a bit. April hits us and I have some packing done. I have found an apartment in New City that looks great. It's undergoing renovations, but the landlord promises it will be great. Still feeling lousy, in addition to the heartburn I now feel nauseous. Itchy still busy with school but instead of donkeys/surgeries/sheep stuff, it's all studying for finals.

The Tuesday before finals I am feeling particularly awful. I woke up feeling like I had a hangover. After vomitting that morning it crossed my mind that this had been going on for a long time. OH.MY.GOD. What if? No. Can't be. I'm taking the pill. It's the pill. It works. It's been working for years. Still, once it had entered my mind I couldn't really shake the feeling that pregnancy would explain all the symptoms. So I went on a little walk to the pharmacy. Stood in line for over 30 minutes. Bought a stick to pee on. By the time I walked home I had all but convinced myself that I was fine. It was just stress. I even felt better by the time I got home. I'll just put the test away and the next time I felt sick, I'd take it.

Well, I woke up Thursday (April 9th), vomitted, and took the test. The positive line showed up immediately. I started to cry. It's not that we didn't want kids. We just weren't planning on one arriving so soon. I spent most of the day crying. It was very overwhelming to me. My brain just wouldn't stop. Telling Itchy (he's already got so much going on), Itchy's parents (we'd have to tell them now, right?), Itchy's mom with her cancer (this could be what kills her), insurance (don't have any), etc. The list went on and on. I was scared to death. Not to mention that because I had been on the pill and had been skipping periods for a while, I had no idea how far along I was.

I had to send Itchy an email at some point during the day and I made a comment at the bottom that I think I knew why I had been so sick. I didn't want to tell him over email, so that's all I said. I was hoping he'd guess it and I wouldn't have to actually tell him. When he got home that night, he asked about that little comment. Wanted to know what I thought the reason was. I gave him one guess. He got it right. Cue more crying from me.

I seriously couldn't believe his reaction. At first he said "oh no". We agreed the timing couldn't have been worse. But then, he was smiling. Laughing even. He was happy about this.
He told me not to worry, that everything would be fine. Then he went to take a shower. Acting like what I had just told him was nothing more serious than the milk going bad.

When he came back out into the living room I was still crying. He was laughing. I started telling him my concerns, he reminded me that we DID want kids. This was just a little sooner than we had planned. But it's still what we wanted. We'd make things work. We always do.

After I had settled down a little, Itchy wanted to call his brothers. He needed their help to devise a plan to tell his parents. I didn't want to tell anyone yet. I wanted to see a doctor first, find out when I was due, etc before we went around telling everyone. But he couldn't wait. I asked him to keep it a secret from the people at school because once one of them knew, everyone would know, and I wasn't ready for that.

By the end of the week, I'm pretty sure he had told most of his class. He said he was too excited to keep it a secret. Yeah, he was That Guy. Watch out folks, he's probably going to be the guy that can't stop talking about his kid. Want to see a picture? He's got dozens of them!

I called and told my parents early the next week. After it felt like everyone else knew. I did ask them to keep it a secret from my sisters though. I thought it would be more fun to tell them in person. And I was going to see them in just a couple weeks anyway.

This seems like a good spot for a break. Next up will be "getting off the rock".