FIL Follies Part 3

We told FIL that Stowa and I would come out the hotel on Monday to say goodbye. This means we have to get up at 5:30 am to drive Itchy to work. Stowa and I are not morning people. We like to sleep in. Of course, after dropping him off we came home and went back to bed until 9 am, but still, we were up early.

I call and tell FIL we are on our way. He says he's ready and can't wait to see us. Great. We get there 20 minutes later and he is still only half dressed. He runs off to the bathroom. Stowa and I sat there for another 20 minutes waiting for him to actually be ready. Why did I hurry to get us out the door? Once he is finally dressed he wants to hold Stowa and take more pictures. Ok. I make sure to take the picture from far enough away that you can see their whole body, not just their faces. He wants to take more pictures outside too. I tell him it's too windy outside. Stowa hates the wind and we won't get good pictures. Unless he wants pictures of her crying while he holds her. Stowa is cranky (getting up too early and teething) so she just wants mama. FIL is telling me how much he's going to miss us, how he's going to come back next month, and then again when we move (more on that later). Great! Just let us know when you want to come and we'll see what Itchy's schedule is like.

FIL tells me to call Itchy to see if he can go out to lunch. I don't need to call to find that out. The answer is no. I pretend to text him. After 20 minutes FIL tells me to text him again. I tell FIL that he's probably really busy. FIL doesn't care and starts to call him from his phone. I tell him I'll just text him again. So I send a real text. Surprise! Itchy is too busy to go to lunch. I tell FIL this and ask him where he wants to go for lunch. FIL wants to go to Perkins. We don't have Perkins. We have an IHOP. It's just like Perkins. Nope, FIL wants Perkins. Well, we don't have one. After a 15 minute discussion about how we don't have a freaking Perkins, he settles on IHOP. We wait until exactly noon to check out of the hotel and then FIL wants to take the pictures outside. It's way too windy. Stowa is already fussing about the wind in her face. I tell FIL that we'll have to do it next time. He pouts the whole way to IHOP. Does he really want pictures of Stowa crying while he is holding her? Not to mention that the wind would have totally messed up his comb-over!

Because of construction it is difficult to get into IHOP's parking lot. I decide to park at place next door to IHOP and we can just walk. It's a 2 minute walk. FIL is annoyed by this. Oh well. Walking is good for you and you're not the one lugging around the carseat and diaper bag. Suck it.

FIL again is trying to feed the baby. Why can't she just have a little maple syrup? Can she have omelet? I had to use my angry voice. She couldn't have it yesterday and she can't have it today. FIL tells her that next time he comes he'll give her anything to eat that she wants.

Then FIL changes the subject. He wants to know exactly what day Itchy is done with school. I do not think that FIL needs to know the exact details. I like to keep it a little vague. So I play dumb. I'm not sure when he gets done, it's sometime in early August. Then FIL tells me that we have to be at his house by August 5th. One of his friends is throwing a birthday party for their granddaughter and FIL wants to take Stowa and show her off. Umm no. I explain that if we have free time before Itchy gets a job, we'd both like to go see my family. FIL tells me that the birthday party is important. I tell him that MY FAMILY is important. FIL says "Well, this is more important. I'll take the Stowa to the party and then you can take her to see whoever". Seriously? I think my family is a little more important that going to a birthday party for a kid I've never met. I just told him we'd see.

We once again ate in silence. Fun times. Then FIL made a scene while trying to get the bill. Instead of just waving at the waitress or you know waiting for a few minutes, he yells at her from across the room. I swear everyone in the place was looking at us. Yeah, he's a fun one. He wants to go right now. I start getting the baby ready to go and he just gets up and walks away. He can't possibly wait for 2 minutes while I buckle her in the carseat.

Not much happened after that. I drove him back to his rental car and we said our goodbyes. He did call that night once he got home and then twice on Tuesday. And then again on Friday.

Here are some other things that didn't really fit in but are funny/annoying:
-He says turn over instead of roll over (in reference to Stowa rolling over)

-He calls pushups body lifts

-Squats are knee bends

-When he asks for a Coke, he really wants a Diet Pepsi

-When he says that he is going to say his prayers, it sounds like he is saying that he is going to do Lamaze (you know the thing pregnant women do to prepare for labor). I know he's speaking in Urdu, but I just keep picturing him breathing. Makes me laugh.

-He is afraid of baby drool. All weekend he kept trying to wipe drool off of Stowa. And he was disgusted that I let her chew on my hands. You should have seen his face when she spit up on my shirt!

-He kept telling Stowa to say her prayers and trying to get her to cross her hands. It gets old. I really don't want him spewing his stupid religious crap at her. I'll wait a while but if he keeps it up Itchy is going to have to tell him the truth. We're raising Stowa as a Scientologist.

I'll talk about the moving/graduating/etc stuff later. Stowa is up and demanding my attention. I guess I can't neglect her AND the laundry forever.