FIL Follies Part 2

Sunday morning we all get up freaking early to drop Itchy off at the hospital. Stowa and I get home and I work on my fitness while she goes back to bed. I had to wake her up at 9:30 to get her ready to go out to the hotel. She's grumpy.

We get out there and FIL is blow drying his hair. At least he has pants on this time. He's annoyed that Itchy isn't with us. He wanted him to just call in and say that he wasn't going in. Umm, Itchy doesn't get sick days. If they tell you to come in, you go in. FIL doesn't want to do anything until we talk to Itchy. Ok. So we sat around and played with the baby. He wanted to take some pictures with Stowa. Sure. I'm not the greatest photographer but I do alright. I get Stowa all smiley and snap a picture. It's cute. They are both looking at the camera, smiling, etc. FIL doesn't like it because it's only from the waist up. Seriously, why do you want a picture that is mostly background instead of a picture where you can actually see faces? Oh and FIL insisted on wearing his sunglasses in the picture. Why? Weirdo.

Itchy was finally able to meet up with us for lunch so we all get in the truck and go pick him up. On the way there FIL starts saying that it's too bad that this happened this weekend. I tell FIL that this kind of stuff happens ALL THE TIME. It's not just this weekend. We rarely make plans because we know that shit will come up. Stowa and I either do things on our own or we don't do them at all. Itchy works really, really hard. FIL doesn't get it. He says that Itchy should have just gone to med school and become a real doctor. I kind of lost my patience with that one. I told him that Itchy IS indeed a real doctor. He isn't busting his ass to become a fake doctor. He isn't going to pretend he is a doctor. They won't pay him in monopoly money. He is a real doctor. Stop insinuating that he isn't. Please don't say stuff like that to him. Have a little respect for your son.

We picked up Itchy and then FIL decides that he wants to eat Indian food. Sure, we'll find the place on campus. We eat and again, FIL just sits there and eats. Can't participate in the conversation. So it's like Itchy, Stowa, and I are having lunch and then some stranger comes and sits at our table. I just don't get it. Maybe I am just use to people talking too much?

We all go back to the hotel for a bit. Stowa takes a nap. Itchy takes a nap. FIL pretends to fall asleep so that he doesn't have to talk to me. Whatever. I watch TV. Itchy has to get back to his patient so he leaves. FIL wants to go back to the mall. He needs underwear. First of all, I do not want to go back to the mall with him. Second, I really don't want to shop for underwear with him. Third, it brings back all sorts of bad memories from when we were staying with him a few months ago and I had to do his laundry. Finally, why didn't he say something about this yesterday when we were at the freaking mall.

I wake the baby up and we go to the mall. Because you know, he has so much money he can't buy underwear at Target. He has to buy them from Macy's. Oh you're not impressed with that? Me either. I tried not to get involved. Just pick a pair and let's go. Oh no. He has to tell me what he doesn't like about his old pair, what color he wants, what size he needs, etc. There isn't enough brain bleach in the whole world to undo this. 45 minutes later he has found something that will suffice. It is not exactly what he wanted but it will do. We walk over to the register. He sees a pair of shoes. We looked at these shoes the day before but today he wants to try them on. He asks the sales lady if she has the shoes in his size, she asks which shoes, he gets all huffy that she doesn't know what he is talking about. I tell her and start walking over to show her. She has them in his size. The lady starts talking to Stowa and I. We're having a nice conversation. Stowa is all smiles with this lady. She just has a way about her. FIL gets pissed. Once he realizes that I'm talking to her, it suddenly becomes urgent that I watch him try on the shoes. Awesome. Stowa is getting antsy and is tired because she had a crappy nap. I make her try on the display shoes. I made a comment about how she's going to have big feet like her mommy. FIL tells me that I can't let her feet get bigger than a size 8. Sure ok, I'll just start binding her feet today! I wear a size 11. She might have big feet.

Anyway, he doesn't like how the size 8 feels. He asks if they have it a size smaller. She brings out a size 7. This makes sense to me. Size 7 is one size smaller than a size 8 right? Well not to FIL. He wanted a size 7 1/2. So he got all pissy with the lady. Seriously though, 7 1/2 is a half size smaller. She didn't have a 7 1/2 anyway. I tell him he should just try on the 7, since that is what he usually wears. For the next hour he went back and forth between the two sizes. One was too big, the other was too small. Good god, the shoes aren't going to change sizes just because you keep trying it on. If it doesn't fit the first time, it's not going to fit in 20 minutes. Let's move on! I ask him if he wants to go to one of the other stores. I saw the same shoes at two other stores, maybe they'll have your size. He doesn't want to though. He finally decides to give up. He goes to pay for his underwear. After all of that, he stops to look at a sport coat on the way out the door. He wants to know why it was $65 on Saturday but it is now $195. The lady explains it was because of the sale they were having. She offers to check the price for him. She grabs the brown jacket. He stops her and tells her to check the blue jacket. He is acting like he is actually interested in buying the jacket. She checks the price and it's no longer on sale. I thank her and tell her that we'll just watch for the next sale. Let's go. But oh no. FIL turns and tells her that "I wouldn't buy this anyway. It's junk". Why the hell did you just make her check the price then!? Seriously lets get the fuck out of here.

We go back to the hotel. I've had it with him. I want to go home but I know I can't. Once we get back to the hotel Stowa falls asleep. FIL and I are seriously just sitting there waiting for Itchy to call. It's awful. Itchy finally calls and is on his way out there. FIL wants to go to dinner. Great. I wake the baby up again and we go to dinner. FIL wants to give her pieces of food from his salad. I tell him no. I don't know why I have to explain to him 1,398 times that we aren't starting solid foods yet. Drives me crazy. Then he tells Stowa that next month (oh god no) when he comes back he's going to give her Coke, corn, and apple juice. NO, no, and no. I tell him that she'll have probably just have started getting food and it'll probably only be things like oatmeal, avocado, green beans, etc. Bland things. Nothing sweet. He tells me that she's not going to like those things and will just spit them out. I tell him that that is ok, if she spits them out it just means she wasn't ready to start solids yet and we'll just wait a bit before we try again. Itchy really doesn't even talk to him. He's so tired that he is spacing out.

He drive him back to the hotel and say goodnight. He wants Stowa and I to come back in the morning. Fine we'll see you then.

Stay tuned for part 3...